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|  oh how depressing...
im back in toronto, far far away from Paris and Greece... i still reminisce over my days back in Europe when everything was so laid back and my life seemed so exciting... so full of surprises.. i never knew who i was going to meet next, what i was going to see next and where i was going to end up.... everything i did, everything i saw and everything i experienced were so full of life and spirit... life was limitless... then i came back to toronto where everything that surrounds us limits us from what we want to achieve in life, all the dreams we strive for... every corner you turn, it seems as if we are stopped by yet another wall... (ooh, i hear the sirens outside of my house as usual... )
dont get me wrong.. i am happy... i am so happy that i have found andre... i couldnt be happier to have found him and to have him in my life as cheesy as it sounds... but i really cant wait til we begin our journey together... somewhere out there, where we can test ourselves to our limits and realize things about ourselves that we would have taken years to find out if we just stay within our comfort zones... so i guess at the end of the day i still have to ask, is this where i belong...??? or is there something bigger out there that i need to discover... | | |
| [25 days]
I AM IN PARIS with ming!! ive already spent my week in thessaloniki, Greece with ceri mark and makis.... already went to belgium for three days to visit my friend virginie... now im back in paris, ming and i just got back from a bar/club where all waitors were dressed in a black thong... and girls took off their bras and hung them on ceiling... then we tried to go to a club called Bar Three but the bouncers were making us pay 5 euros while no one else was paying... its the principle... i refuse to pay.....!!!!!!!! we then took a cab back home but our driver who by the way was a freaky little china man that kept asking us if we were korean (in french) then asked if i was 18 years old... i said i was 17.... i thought 17 would be an illegal age.... (for u know what) he kept driving around the area and drove like 10km./hr (literally)... either way, the night was good.. ming made chinese food for us (me and her bulgarian friends)... and mindy has officially turned into bulgarian... you'll all see what i mean when u see her..  and ive turned 1/2 greek... MALAKA! anyways we are having a great time here.. tomorrow we are going to a club in paris called man ray or something like that.. we'll dance the night away once more...
what a beautiful life... but i miss you guys very much....
after this weekend, we'll be heading to rome, florence, venice milan then to valencia and barcelona... crazy huh... THIS IS LIFE!!!!!!!! | | |
| [46 days... i think]
what a day... carlos just left my flat; we had a really long talk about our problems... our lives... everything we are going through now but we'll be able to look back and laugh about it in time.... time really does heal everything... tonight, i went to greek night but it was so dead, so i ended up sneaking downstairs to 'soul nation' where they play all R&B.. and hiphop... it was good to be with ppl to dance and laugh.. instead feeling so crappy... it hurts when you care about someone so much but they dont reciprocate your feelings  i was, i guess still am angry i feel like everything that we've been through, everything that they've said was all a lie... big f^*$%& lie... and if you let it be, this bitterness eats you up alive... this anger ruins everything in your life... but i guess its when you choose to overcome these issues that are blocking your happiness away; that's when you grow up.... i hate growing up sometimes but in hindsight, it was all for the better... i hate it so much... i hate how much it hurts and how much it SUCKS... but i know few months down the road, i'll be able to look back and realize my life still went on.. that my life was still good and is still good... the key is to protect yourself from cynicism of this life...oh, how it can bring you down.. until you cant even find the strength to get up.... but it does pass, eventually but it does... until then, you just have to keep living life the best way you know how... i wish i was stronger that all these things didnt affect me so much but it does and it hurts like hell... i just gotta keep reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel... it's coming.. i see it.... just still too damn faraway... but its there..... | | |
| [48 days]
i cant believe in less than 2 months i'll be back in toronto  neither can i decide whether im or ...
i have 7 more days of work left at APM doing nonsense office work; 1 more TopB night (on my birthday); 1 more Boogie Night (this sat), 1 more Heat (this thurs); 1 more Greek Night (this fri); then End of the term party next friday!
i think i'll be visiting the Warwick Castle this friday with the guys if they can get their ass in gear... then on sat, i want to go to birmingham to go shopping maybe with ceri for my bathing suit!!!  then next week i want to visit stratford to see where Shakespeare was born... we are hoping to visit manchester but no one wants to make up their minds about it...
LESS THAN TWO WEEKS LEFT until i leave this place!! on monday, martine and i reminiced (too lazy to check my spelling) over our time here at warwick; when it seemed like only few weeks ago we arrived here to participate in orientation week... (this was in SEPTEMBER!!!)
but kids, i miss u guys... u guys are all ready to go home (except for mindy; italy and spain, here we come!!!) call me on my BIRTHDAY!!! or else..  | | |
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